3:35 p.m. - September 8, 2002

Tears of Guilt
At church this morning, I made a desperate plea to God to help me overcome these obsessive thoughts about my co-worker. The pianist played a beautiful Jim Brickman song on the piano halfway through mass and I broke down into tears.

Mostly because I was remembering the day my husband and I were married...how young and innocent we were...how much in love I was.

I still am. But, my passion has been tarnished by this guilt over my attraction for my co-worker.

Of course I would never act upon it, but I feel guilty all the same.

I suppose things would be much worse if my husband were ever to read my journal and find out about this blackness inside of my heart.

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